Monday, May 30, 2005

Creative Genius

I'm feeling very proud of my creative side today.

From the beginning Sweetie and I decided we didn't want your standard guest book. I just couldn't see myself going to the bookshelf years from now and saying, "Gee, let's go through the guest book and see who was at the wedding. Well look, Dick and Jane were there. So were Luke and Leia!"

The idea we came up with was to have a non-lined guest book. In addition to signing their names guests could share a thought or memory, draw a little picture, whatever moved them. Or if they just wanted to sign their name, that would be OK, too. Seemed like we might actually get a keepsake out of the thing rather than just something to take up space.

Today I went in search of said book, and given the options available to us came up with an even BETTER solution:

The guest book is a lovely photo album. We'll have guests sign it, then after the event intersperse photos throughout (we can unbind the book and rearrange pages if necessary) so it will be a combo guest book/photo album. Now that's something I might actually want to peruse in the future.


Sweetie's been working on the music lately. Specifically, what songs will be sung by the choir during the ceremony.

Saturday afternoon he picked a song that he thought would be good. Sunday morning the choir sang that song during the offeratory. A weird bit of karma.


My maid of honor's wedding is three weeks after mine.

I received the inivitation to her shindig in the mail this weekend.

And our invites haven't even been put in the mail yet. The addresses are all written out now (as of late last night), but still need to print out directions, buy stamps, and stuff them all. Guess what fun we've got in store this week?

Although by the time we get the invites in the mail I think we'll have (informally at least) responses from almost everyone on the list. Today I discovered that my godparents won't be able to make it. Which is sad but doesn't surprise me. What did surprise me, a little bit, is that they were planning on coming but extenuating circumstances just popped up.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

In Which Swankette Rants and Feels All Superior

So I've been reading some online wedding message boards. The idea was it would help me make sure Sweetie and I are on track, that we're not forgetting anything important, and we may pick up an idea or two along the way.

But MAN if I don't want to just go off on a rant at some of these brides day after day. Lots of questions in the vein of, "Gee, I really want purple hair, but my Mom says that I'll regret it someday and his Mom says she won't come to the wedding if I have purple hair. What should I do?" And the responses are all, "It's YOUR day, do what YOU want. Screw what anyone else says."

Or, "My friend is complaining about being in my wedding. But I'm paying for the dress, so it's not like it's costing her any money. She should be honored to participate in my day, all I'm asking is that she be totally available to me the week before my day to do stuff for me."

Rant the first: Any Bride who refers to her wedding as MY day should never be allowed to obtain a marriage license. Because as much as I may be the one who the eyes are on, simply by the fact that I'll be the one in the poofy white dress, there is a groom involved as well. It is OUR day, as it is the day WE will be joining OUR lives together. Granted, I've probably had more thoughts about this day before the proposal happened, I may be doing a bit more of the legwork in planning the day, but at the end of it all without him this day ain't happening. And for the record, although I may be the one in the poofy white dress, he's the one who prefers to be the center of attention and I prefer to take second stage, so stare at the tall boy in the tux instead, please.

Rant the second: The Bride AND Groom may be the centerpiece of the day, but it is a party you are throwing. Perhaps you've never thrown a party before today, but a gracious host takes into consideration the thoughts and feelings of their guests. Sweetie and I had friends over tonight. It was MY house, it was MY party, and I like to allow my cat to wander freely throughout the house. However, as a gracious host I locked Samson away for the night because one of our guests is allergic to cats.

Rant the third: People who have been through it all in the past can actually give some good advice. It's worth it to at least listen to what they have to say. Doesn't mean you have to take their advice, but at least all sides of the story are out there. And some of these people have been through big events in the past, even weddings, they may have some real-world experience that they're basing these examples off of. I can't think of any specifics right now, but I know there have been instances where I've won my Mom over on something we're doing be explaining the motivation, rather than annoying her by just saying, "But it's MY day!!!"

And this is precisely why Sweetie and I will have such a kick-ass wedding. Neither of us are capable of being this type of person.

The Debate on Whether to Have Kids at the Wedding

For most engaged people the kid debate is whether or not they want to invite the children of their friends and loved ones to the wedding and reception. That was never a debate for us - the more the merrier. Any kids that come are well-raised enough that they won't do anything totally inappropriate, and they'll add the cute factor in a big way.

Nope, the issue Sweetie and I are having is the incorporation of children in the service. And not in will we have a flower girl or a ring bearer, but will there be moments of the service in which we talk about me being a fruitful vine and how we're going to go forth and multiply and all that kind of stuff.

The answer is: Not gonna' happen (well, probably not).

Here's the deal. I want kids. Someday. But I'm still getting used to the whole concept, and we won't be starting the endeavour on the wedding night. But my parents DESPERATELY want to be grandparents (and their friends are in support of that goal), and for the past many years my one sure-fire way to shut them up has been, "But I'm not married, you wouldn't want me to be a single parent, would you?" My parents tradition is stronger than their urge to grandparent, so that always shut them up. But once the I do's are exchanged I don't get that excuse anymore.

So I'd really not rather bring up the concept of us multiplying into the service, because then I KNOW I'll be getting the third degree at the reception as to when we're going to start a family. Thus far it's proved rather simple, remove this optional prayer, select this reading over that one.

But now we've gotten to the Psalms. And those that seem wedding appropriate that DON'T mention me being a fruitful vine seem to be very missionary and evangelistic and as much as I don't want to be popping out my first kid nine months after the wedding I also don't want to try to convert friends and loved ones who don't already believe while at the wedding.

Although over the course of typing out this blog entry we found a good one, so that's another problem averted.

Tears of Joy

Hot weather has hit the Northwest. In speaking with my mom last night she commented that she REALLY hoped it wasn't this hot out for the wedding. After giving her all the reasons that it likely wouldn't be too bad (Seattle is always a little cooler than Portland, it will be evening, etc) I came up with the PERFECT solution:

If it's too hot out I'm simply going to tell everyone that my mother suffers from a bizarre condition in which she does not just cry out of her eyes, she cries out of every pore of her body. And she's very sensitive about it, so don't ask her. That's not sweat, those are tears of joy!

Hey, she's the mother of the bride, she gets the benefit of the doubt.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Dress Has Arrived

In Portland. Which means I can now make the appointment to get the (expecting to be minimal) alterations done. I know when I want to do it, just need to check with the boss to see if it's doable, as it entails a day or two of vacation time.

Here's the coolest thing - I've decided I have a psychic connection with my dress. I had a spare moment at work today, and decided to call and check on the dress, as it was scheduled to arrive the end of May.

After giving the person at the dress shop my name her response was, "Oh, so I guess I don't need to send out this card I have in my hand." Yep, the dress had JUST come in and she was putting the notice in the mail when I called. FREAKY!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Friends 'Til The End (of our hair)

After he read yesterday's post (and before anyone else had commented) Sweetie informed me that I shouldn't even think of donating my hair to Locks of Love because he is the one who has to listen to the bitching and the moaning about the suffering I go through in having long hair.

But then the comments came, which were all very lovely in their own regards, but there's one that gets singled out and that's Kaphine's.

Here's the background: Kaphine's my best friend. She's also getting married this summer, but our weddings are about as opposite as opposite can be. She suggested we both do this, and actually went so far as to measure her hair today. She's 2-1/2 inches away from being able to donate.

So tonight when I got home I took a ruler to my hair. If I were to shave my head right now I'd have 11 inches of hair to donate (best as I can tell), so if I wait until her hair is to the magic 10 inch mark I should be able to donate AND have a decent hairdo after it all.

And now there is one way in which our weddings won't be as opposite as opposite can be, because we will share this common cause at the end of all the festivities.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

In which TRP gets all deep on you

Also at the priest meeting today, she asked why it was important for us to get married at the church. I went off on a big, philosophical rant. Something like this:

Well, for me, I'm excited because it's the official introduction of "us" taking priority above just "me." That's awesome, and I want to celebrate it. Meanwhile, her friends and family and my friends and family will be out there together, and I'm excited that we'll be breaking down the "hers" and "mine" to make it a big "ours." And I think that's one of the big lessons of the world we need to learn: there is no "us and them." Only "us." Everything is "us."

Don't fully know where that came from. The priest was surprised. She waited a second, and then asked me:

"Would you like to give the sermon?"

How kick-ass would it be to give the sermon at your own wedding? Arrogant, sure, but pretty kick-ass.

(No worries. I won't.)


We met the priest today. She was wonderful...we're both very excited to have her for the wedding. Early on, Swankette and I paused to mull over a deep question, and the priest noted how thoughtful we both were. I said something like, "We're good at thinking." She said: "Oh! Maybe I'll go with a more intellectual sermon." YES!

And later, when we said that we are probably the only couple for whom the infield fly rule played a critical role in the courtship, she was able to intelligently discuss most of the rule. And she thought she might work it into the sermon.

An intellectual sermon with the infield fly rule in it? Can this get any cooler?


It is taking every ounce of self-control I possess to not go out and shave my head or, at least, get a buzz cut. My hair has reached shoulder-length, which given the density and weight of my hair means constant pressure on some portion of my skull. I average 2-3 hairstyles/day to try to alleviate the pain.

Shedding has begun. I'm worse than a shedding St. Bernard with the trails of hair left everywhere.

I must make it into the hairdresser, and soon, so that she can do something to make this bearable for me.

The craziest part: This morning, as I was gathering the handful of shedded hair that had accumulated in the brush, I began to think that I'd suffered to this length of hair, why not go the extra mile and grow it to the ten inches required to donate to Locks of Love.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Ooh, There's Gonna Be Fireworks

Things could just not get any cooler at the rehearsal dinner.

Let's recap the details so far:
  • It's at a baseball game
  • The visiting team is the team I used to work for
  • Sweetie's singing the national anthem
  • I'm throwing out the first pitch
  • Guests will be participating in on-field promotions
  • Friends, co-workers and complete strangers who are not invited to the dinner are coming to the game just to join in the fun

Any one of those items you've got yourself a kick-ass event. Put all of them together and we've definitely put it up to eleven. Now we've even gone off THAT scale.

That's right, they're doing fireworks after the game. I don't think many brides and grooms get fireworks as part of their celebration. A fireworks show worth anything costs about $3,000 to stage, so I KNOW you aren't having fireworks on our budget. Unless your a pyromaniac and that's your biggest priority.

But me and Sweetie, WE get fireworks. Now the only thing that worries me is that the rehearsal dinner will be so amazingly kick-ass that at the wedding folks will be all, "Eh, this is OK, but were you at that rehearsal dinner last night!"


I have decided to start obsessively watching Father of the Bride. The original from 1950 starring Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor, not the more recent Steve Martin/Martin Short version. I've always loved the movie, and it seems especially appropos all things considered.

I may force my dad to watch it once or twice as well. There are definitely some parallels between Kay and Stanley and Swankette and Sarge.

What prompted this? E! True Hollywood Story is about Doris Day this evening. She's not in the movie, it's a total non-sequitir, but such is life.

Kay's about to announce her enagement, I must be going now.


Invitations have arrived and the addressing will soon commence.

And I am officially a freak.

I could give a shit what the mom's are wearing, what the dad's are wearing, and have only moderate interest in what the maid of honor is wearing.

If you asked me the date of the engagement I would have to look at a calendar.

I refuse to think any decision through to its death, preferring to get the job done as long as it meets the budget and passes quality control.

Yet I almost get in a fight with the Sweetie this evening over the addressing of the invitations. And I went to three different stores this evening to find the correct pens for said addressing.

Because you know when folks get the invitation in the mail that's what they're going to notice - the type of pen that was used to address said item. (OK, Kaphine will notice that, but that's why she's my best friend.)

I fear issues like the guest book, place cards and table names will make me equally anal. The fun we've got in store for us!

Now pardon me, I've got 100+ invitations to get addressed.

Saturday, May 14, 2005


Today I cleaned up the wedding box, got the budget and guest list spreadsheets updated, and updated links on this page. Wedding planning housecleaning as it were.

It was an act that needed to be done, and has simulatenously calmed me down and stressed me out. Sweetie and I have a box in which we have been storing all wedding-related stuff - books, calendars, paperwork, etc. Best idea we had in putting this all together, because it's all in one place and can easily be lugged around from one part of the condo to the other. It's been hiding back in the den lately, but it fits nicely under the coffee table and I think it may live there from here forward.

So organizationally I'm feeling fantabulous. But now we start to get into all the details. And there are a lot of details that are going to have to be adressed between now and July 30. But we can do it.

Invitations will be in Monday or Tuesday, so getting those puppies addressed and out the door will be the next order of business.

Thursday, May 12, 2005


So in the industry I work in I come into contact with a lot of different people on a day-to-day basis. Many folks I've got business relationships with know that I'm getting married because it's come up for some reason or another along the way. In no case has it been, "Why, hello there business associate have I told you that I'm getting married?" (OK, once it was that, but it was a former co-worker who had moved away and is on the invite list).

Once they've learned about the upcoming nuptials it's not uncommon for someone to ask as to how planning is going, or what we're doing, or whatever other random thing they might ask. It's also not uncommon for me to mention that the rehearsal dinner is taking place at an Everett Aquasox game and that TRP will be singing the national anthem and yours truly will be throwing out the first pitch. Honestly, this is because this is the one little soundbite that I can tell someone I know on a fairly casual basis that will distinguish this event from any other wedding they've ever attended. You don't have to know Sweetie and myself well, or know of our love and our history of baseball to know that this is a kick-ass thing.

Well today I found out from one business associate that she has been talking up the game to people she knows, and is planning on attending the game herself. What the?!?! When friends and loved ones and even co-workers said they might come to the game to check it out, despite not being on the rehearsal dinner list that was one thing. When the boss mentioned the company might make it an outing so everyone comes to cheer me on that was another thing. When a person who I come into contact with an average of 1-2 times a month is planning on coming to the game, and telling who knows who about it and trying to get them to come to the game as well.

Thank goodness I'm training for that first pitch, because apparently all eyes will be on me. Who knew Sweetie and myself could be responsbile for a ball game sell-out?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Our Friend in the Diamond Business

Sunday Sweetie and I went to purchase our wedding bands. Our friend in the diamond business, who also provided the engagement ring (and is open Monday through Friday 'til 8, Saturday and Sunday 'til 5) was the provider of the bands.

And let me just take a moment to blatantly plug them for any jewelry needs you might have that they could fulfill. Because I know anyone who reads this blog and has a radio can hear Tom Shane in that nasal voice of his tell us about how none of his salespeople are paid on comission and how he personally buys the diamonds and all the stuff, but the guy's got a great shop.

Every time we've gone in there (Sweetie to buy the rock, the two of us to pick out the setting for the rock, and then the two of us to buy bands) they workers have been nice and helpful, but not pushy and willing to put up with however long it took us to make our decisions and however many stupid questions we had along the way. And they were really friendly the whole time, too.

As an added bonus, once you've got the rock they basically take care of it for life for you. Need to have it resized, cleaned, the prongs checked out to make sure they're holding everything in place? All included in that initial cost.

So we now have rings. Well, I've got rings. Sweetie has never worn a ring before. He did his best to figure out what size he was with the sample size dealies they've got, but missed the mark big time, so his ring needs to go back in to be resized.

One step closer to making it official.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Wedding Haiku

I noticed that yesterday was 5/7/05, which I declared International Haiku Day. And today, Sweetie and I will head up to get our wedding rings. I asked her if we should engrave something on the inside, and before you know it, we thought we should engrave haiku. Here are some of the ideas we came up with. (I've substituted the names of our pretend girlfriend and boyfriend, Sue [Bird] and David [Bowie], for our names.)

When they got married
Sue and David got these rings
Aren't they lovely?

If you can read this
Sue or David took it off
They're making meat loaf

If you find this ring
It's owned by Sue or David
Please return it now

Since you're reading this
Please check out Sue or David
For chopped-off fingers

Friday, May 06, 2005

(Your Name Here)

Invitations are ordered. Proofs are approved. The printing has commenced.

So you know how when you're putting something together with an unknown address, or looking at a sample of something that would have a unique address printed on it you'll put something like "12345 Main Street" there as a placeholder?

When I was first figuring out the wording for the invites I did exactly that for the church and the reception site both. Mainly because I was too lazy at that instant in time to look up the addresses.

The ACTUAL address of the church is: 1245 Tenth Avenue East. Especially when being super-anal proofreader that looks a LOT like a dummy address. I think I proofed that piece of the invite 10 times. It was correct every time.

In the Bullpen

Last Sunday Sweetie and I started practice for my first pitch. It's 60 feet 6 inches from the pitchers mound to home plate. Every first pitch I've ever seen takes place in front of the pitching mound because you can't go desecrating the mound before the first pitch, so I'm estimating that's about 55 feet.

Sunday I was able to throw the ball about 45 feet successfully. So, I'm not there yet but can easily be there by July 29.

Last night the trainer and I started working on my rotator cuffs, to help strengthen them to ease me in gaining the distance necessary.

I'd feel like a dork training for a ceremonial first pitch, but once on The West Wing the President trained for a first pitch. I may not have to do it wearing a bullet-proof vest, but I still want to impress folks with my mad skills.

Thursday, May 05, 2005


The new Harry Potter book is due to come out two weeks before the wedding.

Three options:
  1. Get mom to buy the book the day it comes out, read it, then bring with her to the wedding to pass off to me so I have reading material for the plane on the way to the honeymoon.
  2. Buy the book myself the day it comes out, use it as a welcome distraction the two weeks immediately before the wedding, then pass off to Mom when she's up here for the wedding.
  3. Wait until after the wedding and honeymoon to buy they book.

For the record, I'm leaning towards #2 right now.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Milestone of sorts

As I was enjoying salami on crackers for breakfast, I noticed this: it must be used by July 31.

I now own meat which expires after the wedding. We keep getting closer.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Merging Music

If you were to judge Sweetie and I simply by our CD collections:
1) If you didn't know us you'd probably guess wrong who's the boy and who's the girl.
2) You would probably never, in a million billion years, think that the two of us could successfully engage in conversation at a cocktail party, much less get married.

But the biggest change is going to be actually finding a wanted CD. Because I am so used to knowing where, physically, a certain CD lives on my CD shelves, but now half of my CDs are on his shelves, and three of the shelves on my units are housing The Beatles and The Indigo Girls.

There were a total of three duplicate CD's in the collections: Natalie Merchant Tigerlilly, Tori Amos Boys for Pele and Sting The Best Of....

Now, cue the music.

Watching my sweetheart combine our CDs

They're intermingling on the shelves. It's kinda sexual. Only not.

We compromised. I agreed to go alphabetically by first name...a big change. She agreed to organize within artist by date of release.