Location, location, location
Sweetie and I may have the church booked within the next few days. We've been attending services at St. Mark's Episcopal Cathedral since shortly after Easter. It's a beautiful church with a great community. In high school I shared a significant moment with a friend that passed away the summer between high school and college (right before she started her Senior year of high school), so it's got some major sentimental ties as well.
Our first choice date isn't available, but our second choice date is. It's expensive, but I think we can make it work out. The question we need to answer now is are these compromises worth this awesome space.
One way we could mitigate the cost factor is to have the reception in the parish hall. It's been 15 years since I saw the space (and I was playing Simon Says at the time, not evaluating reception facilities), so we're going to have to see it before we can make a decision.
Here's the quandry I'm facing now:
For the past several years St. Mark's has hosted Tent City* for one month every summer. That means they could potentially be there the date of our wedding.
If we just hold the wedding there I've got no problems with that. The tents are located around the back side of the church, so it would be quite possible that we would both be oblivious to each other.
The reception is another story. The windows of the hall would basically overlook the tent city. Don't get me wrong, I am 110% in favor of helping the homeless and the part that tent cities play in that goal. If you know my personal history you know how closely this touches my life. But the idea of holding my reception there is a bit offputting. There's a part of me saying "What will people think?" or "That's so unattractive?" But there's a voice that's just as loud, if not louder, saying "Here I am spending GOBS of money on a huge party, and if the sweetie and I just eloped and spent that money towards homeless causes the world would be much better off." The thing is, I want the big party AND I want to help the homeless. I just fear that if I'm overlooking their plight while dancing away with friends and loved ones that voice may get a little too loud for my liking.
So is it completely crass of me to ask the church if Tent City will be there on the date in question? Is it reprehensible that I'm having these thoughts to begin with?
They never mention these sorts of quandries in the wedding books.
Our first choice date isn't available, but our second choice date is. It's expensive, but I think we can make it work out. The question we need to answer now is are these compromises worth this awesome space.
One way we could mitigate the cost factor is to have the reception in the parish hall. It's been 15 years since I saw the space (and I was playing Simon Says at the time, not evaluating reception facilities), so we're going to have to see it before we can make a decision.
Here's the quandry I'm facing now:
For the past several years St. Mark's has hosted Tent City* for one month every summer. That means they could potentially be there the date of our wedding.
If we just hold the wedding there I've got no problems with that. The tents are located around the back side of the church, so it would be quite possible that we would both be oblivious to each other.
The reception is another story. The windows of the hall would basically overlook the tent city. Don't get me wrong, I am 110% in favor of helping the homeless and the part that tent cities play in that goal. If you know my personal history you know how closely this touches my life. But the idea of holding my reception there is a bit offputting. There's a part of me saying "What will people think?" or "That's so unattractive?" But there's a voice that's just as loud, if not louder, saying "Here I am spending GOBS of money on a huge party, and if the sweetie and I just eloped and spent that money towards homeless causes the world would be much better off." The thing is, I want the big party AND I want to help the homeless. I just fear that if I'm overlooking their plight while dancing away with friends and loved ones that voice may get a little too loud for my liking.
So is it completely crass of me to ask the church if Tent City will be there on the date in question? Is it reprehensible that I'm having these thoughts to begin with?
They never mention these sorts of quandries in the wedding books.
posted by Swankette at 9:34 PM
4 Comments:
My wedding was less than three months after my Mom passed away from cancer. So, instead of a stupid little tchothckie given to each guest, we made a $1000 donation to the American Cancer Society in the name of everyone who attended the wedding. Each plate had a little card that informed the guests of the gift. Everyone said that was a really great way to remember Mom, and that it made a great statement about us.
So, my suggestion: make a donation to Tent City. In fact, if you wanted to, you could make the presentation between the ceremony and the reception to the folks in the tents (or the organizers). That would make a great statement about your marriage, wouldn't it?
Regards,
tommyspoon
That is a FABULOUS idea!!!
Wanted to echo Tom Spoon - a few years back, I attended the REALLY AMAZING wedding of an old friend. He and his missis-to-be were both, er, established adults, with towels, pans and wine glasses. They asked that, in lieu of gifts, donations be made to charity. They had a wonderful time, said the groom, finding out about the different sorts of research they'd funded, animals they'd rescued, local history projects they'd assisted, Heifer Projects they'd assisted, etc.
Gag gifts were allowed, but had to be under $10. (I gave them an Adam West Batman video.)
It's not a crass question, and it's worth letting the guests known ahead of time, but, IMHO, you should go ahead.
P.S. So long as you aren't custom ordering ice sculptures or insisting that the hall be painted in your favorite shade of heliotrope, you should have what you want for your wedding and reception. God willing, you only do this once, and it should be as close to what you want as you can get.
How about donating the flowers (whatever color they may be) after the service to beautify Tent City?
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